Baby Steps – A Story By Eno Bassey
Dear diary.
Awesome body-fitted dress, check! Black heels, check! Is my hair well styled? Yup, check!! Red lipstick, double check on that one!! Guess who has two thumbs and is going to have an awesome date today, ME!! My name is Bidemi Johnson. I am the founder of BIJO enterprise. I am successful and I am beautiful and I have a hot date tonight!
I feel like tonight is the start of something amazing for me. It’s only been like three years since I last went out with a man. It’s not like I’ve been stuck up on someone else ever since. I was just taking my time, living my best life, completely happy being single. It’s not as though I cry myself to sleep sometimes or that I still have the letter he wrote to me five years ago. None of that. I’m fine, really. I can’t even believe my lies.
I am a stuck up woman. Still stuck on a man that broke my heart years ago. Still wishing he had given us another chance. Mistakes can be corrected. Habits can be changed. Why can’t he just come back? It’s been three years and I still miss him. Still hear his laughter in my head. Still wonder what it would have been like to do forever with him. It’s been three years of pretending to my friends and family members that I’m over him. Simply put, the worst three years of my entire existence.
One of the most annoying thing about a break up is that everyone expects you to be just fine after a month or two. Everyone expects you to move on automatically. No one considers how deeply you’ve been hurt. It’s just a relationship anyways, you’re sure to find another man soon. Oh the lies! How come I still feel this deep sense of loss and lingering regret? Maybe I would have or should have done something differently. It’s the craziest thing. A heartbreak is serious business.
So, today, as I still nurse feelings of and for you, let me do my part in helping the universe to help me get better. He doesn’t stand a chance but I’m willing to take this step and see how this goes. I’m willing to give myself a chance at happiness too, especially since you’re now well married and with kids. Let me give myself a chance too.
Okay, I’m heading out now.
Love,
Bidemi.